Just Keep Swimming
by MeBellis
Summary: Aren't kids and children the same thing?" ...No. Definatly not the same thing. The life of Hitsugaya and Karin. Hitsukarin, side Ichiruki


**A/N:** Well, well, well what have we here? Another way to procrastinate away from Cutting the Puppet Strings? Yes, I do believe it is.

Okay, guys you know I love CtPS, but my inspiration has been down the toilet lately and I haven't even _started_writing the next chapter. Yes booooo me, but I don't control my inspiration flow. Seriously, I wish I did. If you want to help please, please, please, go to CtPS and review the most recent chapter and give me some feedback -this does **not** mean that I want praise. I want **advice.** I want your **thoughts.** And I would really, really love helpful **criticing.** Just some suggestions.

**Disclaimer: **I do own anything except for the idea's behind these shorts in the life of hitsukarin.

P.S. The title for this story "Just Keep Swimming" is inspired by the movie "Finding Nemo" and the adorable blue fish Dory with short-term memory loss, who keeps swimming regardless of how dark the water is, all to get to the bright glowly fish at the bottom. Yes, she is simply _that cool.  
_

* * *

O-x-x-x-O

The first time he saw her was not way back when she sent a cross hatched black-and-white ball spiralling at his face, but in a more peaceful time; a time when she was but an infant in his old captains arms, snuggling her twin in a daze. When he first tried to touch the blond baby, that small, small child, her sister spun on him in and instant and bit his finger ferociously, even at a small age protecting the ones she cared for most.

The blond child giggled.

O-x-x-x-x-O

He tries not to remember, not to think of a time when he was sad or depressed when he meets her for the second time in her young life, because she is far too pure for her own sarcastic good, and he doesn't want to crush her. But when she punches him in the arm and tells him to get over himself he can't help but emit a small part of his soul to her because he knows she'll cradle it when no one's looking.

Kurosaki Karin is far too shy at the time for public displays of affection.

O-x-x-x-x-O

He'll never admit it, but when he's dribbling the ball around her in circles, drawing intricate patterns in the wet grass, he picks up her emotion and thinks that that's what it feels like to fly. He'd soar and win and she'd pout and smirk insisting that the next time she'll "kick his sorry ass to oblivion" before picking up the ball with both hands and drop kicking it back into play.

He'll see her smile, he'll see her laugh and wonder if what's he's doing to her isn't cruel.

O-x-x-x-x-O

She'd always run to be beside him whenever he could drop by, always carrying another brutally damaged ball tucked beneath her arm, and wearing a smile that wasn't always supposed to be there. But it would show up, for the sake of seeing him smile in the smallest way possible in return, even though it always made her feel like using her weak little smile in exchange for his was always a con.

He deserved so much more.

O-x-x-x-x-O

"What do you mean you don't?" Karin asked curiously, peering her eyes at Hitsugaya. "Mostly when you die and go to Soul Society you don't have many if any memories of your life. So naturally, a lot of people don't know there birthday, it's not as if we'll celebrate our death so… nothing happens" "Nothing? That's just it?" Hitsugaya sighed and ended the conversation with downcast eyes. "Yes, I believe it is."

One year later on the same day as the one he first met her, or the day when shefirst _remembered_ him, Hitsugaya came to the same railing that they had always met together at and stared into the sky to wait patiently for her as normal routine called for. Although, to his unbelievable dismay, Karin never showed up and, hours later, Hitsugaya decided that enough had to be enough and began to trudge away with his hands in his pockets and mumbling a few choked words angrily; until a small white box seated comfortably on the road caught his eye. He picked it up gently, rolling the ribbon between his fingers and smiling at the card.

_You may not remember, but I won't forget._

O-x-x-x-x-O

Sprinting to him as fast as her legs could manage Karin ran to him. Laughing as loud as she could manage Karin tried one more time for his attention. Straining her heart as much as she could manage Karin looked away from him. She knew she wanted him, knew she _needed_ him but won't ever say. She wanted to always be by his side, always carry a part of him with her, always see his turquoise eyes watching her, always be his only one for even a minute.

Holding a unrequited love was so difficult Karin thought it would suffocate her, but knowing that he took at least some type of comfort in being around her made it a burden worth carrying.

O-x-x-x-x-O

When he first notices her, truly notices her, Hitsugaya can't help but wonder the hell why he couldn't see her before. The way her hair always spiralled around her face while she ran, catching the breeze in her ebony locks and eyes that stung and teared from the pressing winds. How fluent she was, how graceful she moved despite her bulky sneakers and tough demeanour.

And when she laughed, oh when she laughed, her million-watt smile almost made up for his heart break every time he left her alone on the pavement.

O-x-x-x-x-O

When she first tried to set him up with Hinamori -for his happiness, always for his happiness- Hitsugaya almost fainted. When he told Matsumoto and oddly enough Renji later on they merely broke in laughter and through Renji's tears broke words that Hitsugaya had never heard, and would never understand.

"Dude, she's your _pimp!"_

He never wanted to know.

O-x-x-x-x-O

It had been an awkward moment for them both, each unable to comprehend why their kiss couldn't play out to the high cliché standards set by movies, and, as Karin was running off into the distance, covering her madly blushing face with one hand, he vowed to never do such a humiliating thing again.

Their first kiss -if it could possibly be called that- was not even remotely romantic. It was awkward and humiliating experience for both parties as they both tilted their heads in sync with the others and crashed faces, noses, foreheads, and finally lips. It had been a strange moment for Karin and Hitsugaya, both unable to comprehend why their first kiss couldn't play out to the high cliché standards set by movies, and, as Karin was running off into the distance, covering her madly blushing face with one hand, Hitsugaya vowed to never do such a humiliating thing again.

But promises were made to be broken, and for the record to state: It will never be a world shaking first kiss, it will always be a universe defying _second._

O-x-x-x-x-O

He would climb to her windowsill in the darker hours of night and watch her even breathing push her chest up and down in an even rhythm. He would climb into the room -now uninhabited by her twin- and see her stir in her sleep wondering if she could tell he was right here, right beside her as he so often was. He wished fondly that he could be with her during the day when she bathed in streams of sun instead of the darkest nights when she would drown in pools of moonlight.

He so wishes he could wake her and see dark eyes fluttering as they opened. But he knew he didn't deserve to occupy the only time of day she could have everything she could possibly imagine; maybe she was the professional soccer player he recalls she gloated about becoming someday, or maybe seeing her brother that kept a permanent missing status from her life as he so often did. Whatever it was, it was not his place to intervene. He knew that. And he kept telling himself that every step back to his life in Soul Society.

Kurosaki Karin turned onto her shoulder and curled her arms around a pillow and hugged it tightly in her grasp as she dreamt out loud, "Toushiro."

O-x-x-x-x-O

When he finally bundled up years of courage for one moment, for three plain words that spoke more than their worth, he found her on one of her worst days. Angrily kicking a vending machine into a close oblivion he approached her with his arms up defensively. Attempting to tease her he failed miserably when she began to direct her anger at him. Leaving the argument fuming Hitsugaya tried to appease his mind to listen to the voice of reason and convince himself that no, he didn't love her. _He_ didn't want to be that vending machine one day.

And yet, seeing her crouching in front of her mothers grave the next day squeezing her ball like a life line Hitsugaya felt his anger ebb away at the mere sight of her. He would move close to her and wrap an arm around her shoulder and they would sit in silence. And she would cry.

Hitsugaya would never want to be the vending machine; he wanted to be the ball.

O-x-x-x-x-O

"Hey Toushiro?" "Yeah?" "How long do you think your gonna be gone this time?" He waited seconds and hoped for the question to pass, when it didn't -he knew it never would, not with her- he answered solemnly, "A couple of months." "Oh." Karin twiddled her fingers and leaned back before continuing,"You'll come back though, right?" Hitsugaya spoke with an air of certainty,"Of course." Karin twisted her head into a comfortable position in the crook of his neck, mumbling her words as she began to lull into sleep "Good. I was afraid I'd have to set Ichi-nii on you." Hitsugaya happily gazed down to his girlfriends closed eyes as she leaded her head peacefully on him, resting the hours away with no one but himself. He wrapped his arm tighter around her small figure and grinned, and even though it was past her sight, he knew she saw it.

"Would you?"

O-x-x-x-x-O

She had grown up, but it had never quite come as a revolution to Hitsugaya until summer rolled around. It was too obvious that Karin had matured over the winter break, and -after shedding off layers of jackets and sweaters- it became apparent to not only Hitsugaya the extent of Karin's long winter but to her elder brother as well.

Hitsugaya and Ichigo had been gone all spring, so upon their return to find a not so young Karin, Ichigo made some not so subtle hand gestures to what in his opinion should not be there without his permission; and a not so stoic Hitsugaya who thought that yes, all those days, and months away from her had finally paid off. Karma was finally paying back it's years long debt.

It only took Kurosaki Ichigo seconds to register Hitsugaya's stare into his mind and twist it into the worst possible scenario; drawing Zangetsu with one swift flick of the wrist and unleashing bankai in a time even shorter than that. Hitsugaya found that hell hath no fury not of a woman scorned, but a infuriated and compulsively protective sibling.

Karma was trying, but irony's a _bitch._

O-x-x-x-x-O

Her death was something unexpected.

Not to say that he never saw it coming -death was inevitable- but for it to steal her breath so early was something he could not forgive. It was his fault, and it etched it's way past her pleas for him to stop and reached his heart. It was a hollow attack sent by Aizen, one so large, so incredibly massive that captains were called in. In an effort to protect his beloved he left the flock to find her, badly bruised and cut, aching her way through a battle. To save her he relinquished power to her, trying to set his mind at ease when he had to return to his fukataichou; but the power drew in so many, so, so many.

She died by the hand of a hollow, and yet Hitsugaya couldn't bring himself to send her to the afterlife, he did not deserve to touch her, not to even look at her. He wouldn't respond to her loving gestures and convincing that it wasn't his fault, never his fault.

Eventually it was her hand rested upon his that finally pressed his hilt to her forehead.

O-x-x-x-x-O

He had simply found her wandering the streets one day, aimlessly strolling the street of Rangokai without a meaningful care in the world. It had almost been a year since her death, and he had never quite picked himself up, so seeing this figure of perfect similarities Hitsugaya was afraid to reach out. He crocked the words through his chest, begging and dreading that they'd come out loud enough for the receding silhouette to hear, "Karin?" She turned her head in seconds and beamed a grin larger than any he had seen in a long, long -too long, far too long- time,

"Bout' time."

O-x-x-x-x-O

The academy had no clue what to do with her.

She would break down walls, disobey teachers, leave the grounds at whatever times she pleased, and because she had passed every test flawlessly there was absolutely nothing they could do about it. Karin had already been taught kido spells and controlling her reitsu and even Soul Society history and laws all for the sake of passing time with Hitsugaya when she was alive; it was if everything they were trying to teach her had just been hidden away in some vault, all it took was the right key to unlock all her memories.

Karin took advantage of her free time -by this meaning school hours- and left the confining walls of the academy for breaths of cleaner air, of a soft blue picturesque sky. To the obvious prodding of her fellow classmates she would grudgingly admit that yes, she was Kurosaki Karin, but she was _not_ "Ichigo's little sister", _yes,_she was Kurosaki Karin girlfriend of Hitsugaya Taichou, but she was _not_ "Hitsugaya's girlfriend".

She wouldn't be compared to anyone, she was a single entity among many and that was the way it was; it only helped that she could beat anyone who said otherwise into an indistinguishable help even without the use of a zanpakutou.

O-x-x-x-x-O

The first time her zanpakutou spirit had been called out she had been so overjoyed, so euphoniously thrilled, that as a celebration Matsumoto had announced with an equal amount of glee that today was the day she would get her first sake. She had been offered sake many times before but had decided to put it off with better judgement, but in the excitement of the moment common sense was a lingering thought and she greedily took the bottle to her lips.

Soul Society would never live down the shame of being unable to stop a young girl under influence who had only retrieved her zanpakutou that day from tearing down the walls of half of the Gotei Thirteen buildings.

O-x-x-x-x-O

She had done so many things in her life that had been for the most part stupid but equally daring: She had paraded through the eleventh division waving her sword in challenge to anyone willing, she had marched onto a battlefield without any visible fear, she had stolen Matsumoto's sake just for the hell of pinning it on Hitsugaya, she had kissed her boyfriend in front of her brother, but nothing in this world had the absolute power to scare the living hell out of her quite the same way moving in together did.

"Karin, just walk through the door."

O-x-x-x-x-O

Ichigo clenched his fists together and squeezed his eyes shut tightly as Rukia rested her hand on his cheek and asked as calmly as she could, "What happened?", Ichigo just shook his head, "I wasn't supposed to leave her alone, I should've stayed…" Rukia kept pressing on in a soothing voice, "What is it Ichigo?" "She knew I wouldn't be gone long! Rukia, she KNEW!" "Knew what?" Matsumoto hollered over from the other side of the room, tearing her words through fits of uncontrolled laughter, "Karin and Hitsugaya were gettin' a little naughty and Ichigo just happened to walk in…" Rukia clamped her hand over her mouth, "They wouldn't." Ichigo was wailing half way to hysteria,

"IN _OUR HOUSE _RUKIA! _OUR HOUSE!_

O-x-x-x-x-O

He looked up at her, standing on the stage to the far left, fiddling with her fingers in a distracting way. She was graduating far ahead of her age class and was pushed aside by those older than her for the ceremony so those who had been with their friends since the beginning could stand together. Undeterred Karin kept her face as straight as physically possibly as they had begun announcing the graduates and the squad -if any- they would be attending post academy and she felt herself becoming hotter under the collar every waiting second. Eventually they came to her name and Hitsugaya let himself smile in front of waves of people to her unreadable reaction when they announced her position as third seat in his squad.

She stood in the outcasts to the edge of a stage brimming with people, but when she smiled and flaunted her certificate in her hands, waving the piece of paper wildly back and forth, Hitsugaya could swear that he wasn't the only one in the audience that only saw only her.

O-x-x-x-x-O

"Gimmie that damn cube."

"Karin you cannot do this again." "Oh come on, I can do it this time, I've been practicing!" "The last time you tried you got so infuriated you blew up the division." "Psh, details." "Details? We had to spend money and effort on reconstructing your mess you know." Karin clicked her tongue in an irritated way."Just give me the cube already Toushiro." "No."

Karin whipped her hair out of over her face, leaned over and hung her body over his, her piercing grey eyes staring immediately into his, "Hand over the cube, and no one get's hurt." "There is nothing you could do to make me hand this cube over." She tilted her head to the side and grinned, "I'll give Matsumoto sake." "Like she doesn't have endless amount's already." "I'll help you with paperwork." _"Puh-lease"_ Karin grinned, "I'll let you top tonight." He smirked, "I don't need your permission."

Karin sighed dramatically before leaning down and closing the gap between them, pressing her lips against his as she wound her fingers through his hair. Responding in a admittedly confused way- Hitsugaya snaked his arm around her back and continued the kiss with equal ferocity. Roaming each others mouth eagerly for control Karin finally back down to his touch and let him take over, keeping him preoccupied just enough for her other hand to climb down his arm and grab the small cube that was loosely resting in his hands. Yanking back she jumped off in triumph waving the plastic rubrics cube around like a gold trophy, "Hell yeah!"

Watching her walk away with her face pressed down in an intense stare as she fumbled the cube between her fingers and tried to move the glued together pieces, Hitsugaya smirked and pulled out the real cube from his pocket.

Worked every time.

O-x-x-x-x-O

It took approximately one point five seconds for Karin to release her zanpakutou upon his head with a brutal swing when she saw him drop to one knee brandishing a shimmering ring. It took him approximately a week of humiliation before he would confront her for an answer.

"Well?" "Well what?" "Why didn't you say yes?!" "Tell me you love me." "What?" "Tell me you love me." "Why?" "Just _say it."_

Hitsugaya sighed and cooperated, the words rolling of his tongue in such a natural but strange way, "I love you." Karin clicked her tongue and grinned devilishly before stretching out her hand, grabbing a mess of his hair and forcing his lips to hers.

"You still got the ring?"

It took approximately five years after the incident for Hitsugaya to realize that that was the first time he had ever told her he had loved her.

O-x-x-x-x-O

He would wake up in the middle of the night and gape at just how beautiful she really was. Hours after heated love there was only pure silence as the air flooded in through an open window and brushed against her skin and whip her dark hair around her face. She was strong and fierce, but seeing her in such a timid position with her feet curled up to her naked chest as she inhaled and exhaled in close to a breathless motion, Hitsugaya knew that a barrier had been broken, and the metal exterior melted away for his eyes alone. He would reach out to her in the night and slowly run a hand down her cheek as her eyelashes fluttered, not quite opening up grey orbs, and he would smile.

They were together now, and after tonight they were inseperable as another began to form between them.

O-x-x-x-x-O

When she began to ask him questions about kids Hitsugaya got curious. When she began asking questions about children Hitsugaya became confused,"Aren't kids and children the same thing?" _...No._ Not the same thing at all.

When he heard _this_ Hitsugaya became antsy. When she asked his opinion on children Hitsugaya stuttered; when he replied with asking her opinion Hitsugaya knew where this was heading. "Karin... when exactly is the child due?" She replied with a shrug of the shoulder, "About nine months give or take." "Nine months?" "Yep. Nine months." "...Huh."

Hitsugaya would have let his jaw drop has he not already collasped to the floor.

O-x-x-x-x-O

"Let's go kill some hollows." Hitsugaya blinked. "What?" Karin sat up, cautious of her overly expansive stomach of seven months. "I said let's go kill some hollows." He sat up and turned on the light than illuminated the dark room, "What, now?" "No Sherlock, in two years. What the hell do you think?!" Hitsugaya groaned, sat back onto the bed and laid down. "No Karin. Not at-" He checked the clock beside them, "Two thirty in the morning." "You scared?" "No Karin, I can assure you that I am not scared." "Than why the fuck not?" Hitsugaya closed his eyes and sighed before sitting up and walking out of the room. "Hey, Toushiro? Where the hell do you think your going? Oh god, your not leaving are you? Your not going to try and leave me are you?" There was no reply but a rustling form outside the door. "Was it something I did? Said? You had better not be fucking leaving me!" He re-entered the room and sat back on the bed, handing over a small jar to Karin as he did so. "What's the hell's this?" "Just open it." Karin popped open the cap and stuck her hand inside, "_Pickles?!_Oh Toushiro you shouldn't have!" She cooed as she leaned over and kissed his cheek lightly before returning her attention to the jar.

Just two more months…

O-x-x-x-x-O

When she first gazed down at her baby, at her precious, _precious_baby Karin's heart couldn't help but jerk in her chest. It's scorching orange hair inherited by her own mother that would carry on through her child, and her husbands unique turquoise eyes. A perfect combination of her love that spread equally between her family and her true love. And than the second child, the little match to the first that carried her traits in hair colour but also carried Hitsugaya eyes. Karin smiled to the children curled in her arms, both snuggling onto the other for warmth and dropped her head into the crook of her husbands neck.

She was going to be the best mother to these twins; she swore it.

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_Don't turn an ignorant eye to the world; take in the good and bad and simply wallow in the beauty of it all._

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**A/N:**Alright folks that's it, my daily dose of all that is cheesey. I would really appreciate if you went and read my top note because that's were I've written everything except for... **PLEASE REVIEW!** (hint hint: you don't need an account to review)

By the way the quote at the end is from an annonymous source. ;)

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